Make No Bones About It; Communication Is Hard

Kirk Spock and McCoy

The Freudian Trio consists of three characters: one who acts emotionally and instinctively, one who acts with cold, passionless logic and one who reconciles the two conflicting ideals.

No TV show that I’ve watched applied this trio better than the original Star Trek series.

Bones was the emotional one. Spock the logical one. Kirk was the character that brought the two together.

Some of us, especially men, struggle communicating thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

This is an area that Leonard “Bones” McCoy excelled in.

At least on television. I can’t say how he was in real life – though I heard he was a gentleman.

I attended a seminar 15 years ago where I learned that I process ideas rapidly in my mind. So when I come out with a statement, people were often confused by what I said, and normally discounted my ideas.

I was normally left wondering why they rejected m y idea and I’d internalize the emotions.

At the seminar, I was shown that I needed to connect the dots for my audience so they could understand how I arrived at my idea.

Once I implemented this knowledge, conversations went MUCH more smoothly.

My ideas were accepted.

My confidence level took off.

We all communicate differently. We all expect certain to receive communication a certain way, and to deliver communication a certain way.

Communication styles affect our work life, friendships, parenting, and marriages.

Communicating well is crucial for relationships to survive.

I cover communication extensively in my group program being launched soon.

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Performance Issues That Blue Pills Can’t Fix

As I write this article, I’m sitting in a hotel room sick as a dog.

I’ve been sick now for over two weeks.

On top of my illness, I recently lost my dad suddenly to cancer, and am dealing with another family emergency.

It’s hard to maintain a tough exterior in the face of challenge but working for yourself forces you to move forward through difficult circumstances.

As an employee with sick leave, vacation time, and salary – I lived the high life so-to-speak. When I got sick, I was able to stay home, lay on the couch, watch movies, cough and choke and still get paid.

Owning your own business is different. You don’t get paid if you don’t work.

I’ve noticed in my few months of business ownership that my skin is becoming thicker as a result of having to keep going in the face of life’s curve balls.

As an employee… I might as well admit it… I was getting soft.

It was easy to lean on my benefits, and it was easy to see how it affected my performance over 11 years.

In the years where I struggled with my role, who I was, what I wanted, what I was supposed to do, or just not being busy enough, I had at least twice the sick time – if not more.

The point I’m trying to make is that there are many factors that impact employee performance.

Poor performance doesn’t have to be due to laziness, or a poor attitude, or some other horrible trait related to personality.

Your employee could be going through some tough times.

So what does that have to do with you…or your organization?

Well, that depends on you…and your organization.

In terms of managing people resources in your organization:

  • What is your vision for your business/branch/division and those you manage?
  • What are your strengths and weaknesses?
  • What are your limits?

These are just some of the questions I could ask to help you determine the actions you can take.

I will say that the best start is ALWAYS conversation. Ask and then listen.

Sometimes listening is kick an employee needs to get into gear.

Sometimes not.

Every situation is different.

That’s the beauty and frustration in dealing with employee performance issues. There are no pills that can easily fix these issues.

I cover dealing with performance issues like this one in my new program soon to be released.

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A BIG NO-NO For Interviews

A man sleeping

The other day I was on Reddit, or as I like to call it “the goldmine for article ideas”, reading about interview experiences from around the world.

I found one that reminded me of something I witnessed a few years ago:

“Candidate brought his mom in with him – who proceeded to answer all the questions I was asking him until I asked her wait outside.

His only work experience was a paper route he kept for less than 2 months and mowing his neighbor’s lawn.

It was clearly an enormous effort for this poor guy to communicate in anything but one-word answers. In fact, he looked genuinely relieved when the interview was over.

Dude was 22 years old.”

Taking your mom (or dad – as I witnessed) into an interview is not a great strategy. If you’re considering doing that, I’m not the guy to help you.

My advice to you is: Go get a job and hold it down for at least 6 months and BEFORE YOU QUIT…have another job lined up.

As a hiring manager it tells me that if I invest time into training you, I’ll get some return on investment. It also tells me that I won’t have to go through the hiring process again anytime soon.

IF you can’t get a job…go volunteer somewhere to build “job credit”. Work hard so you’ll have a good reference for the next job interview.

I work with people who can’t seem to crack that next level of management. They’ve tried a few times but seem to keep striking out.

My approach is simple – I get a clear understanding of where you want to go, and then together, we plan out how you can get there.

In my program, I provide you with tools related to project management, people management, and communication strategies so you can put these new skills to work for you right away – on the job or in your next interview!

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